This Just In
by UConn Fan
Summary: Sydney's about to change her world forever . . . or is she?
1. Musings At A Party

Title: This Just In  
Author: UConnFan   
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com how/I, she thought as the sheer memories made her cheeks blush, but after all that had happened to her . . after everything that had been done and given to her in over nearly the last decade, she was sure it was an impossibility.  
Sloane would be furious, and probably have a million questions for the security section - probably have her tailed even more closely, she thought with a disgusted shake of her head. Her Father would undoubtably have mixed reactions . . . she was sure the higher ups at the CIA would have plenty to say .. and Vaughn . . well, she couldn't even bring herself to imagine his reaction. Dissapointment? Disgust? maybe a small bit of joy?   
"Hey, Syd, are you okay?" Will asked, his question shaking her out of her thoughts. She shook her head and gave him a small smile.   
"Yeah, I'm okay." she insisted quietly as he studied her briefly, obviously somewhat concerned, before returning to his conversation. "I think." she whispered to herself before taking a sip of her water and standing up. This is it, she thought, I'm going to do it.   
"Syd, where are you going?" Francie asked as she and Charlie returned to the table.   
"I just forgot, I'm supposed to call an associate of mine . . you know, we're handling a huge bankrupcy case right now." she explained, using the first excuse that popped into her head as she shrugged. "On a Saturday night?" Will questioned skeptically.   
"You know how dedicated we are to our work." she said with a shrug. "I'm just going to go call him, before it gets to late . . then I think I'm going to go home and go to bed."   
"Are you sure?" Charlie asked, also obviously concerned as Sydney forced a smile.   
"I'm sure." she said. "Congratulations you too." she whispered, hugging and kissing the couple of honor.   
"Thanks for coming." Francie said, smiling at her.   
"I wouldn't of missed it for the world." she promised. "Bye!" she called, walking out of the restaurant and to her car.  
/P 


	2. Coming Clean

Authors Note: Thank you for all the positive feedback. I think I fixed the messed up format from  
Chapter 1. Please send me feedback again - I LIVE off the stuff :) I'm really glad to be getting  
positive feedback too, since I wasn't sure how well this would be accepted. I'm trying my best  
to do the plot - and the brilliant characters - justice. Anyway, all the info's in Pt.1. I don't  
own them, I'm just using them for fun, and if anyone ANYONE feels like dropping me a line  
(especially about UConn . . or Jake Voskuhl . . c'mon, I'm TRYING to get over it!) I'm  
LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
Sydney stood gazing out at the pier and at the lights that were on in the city across the water. It was nearly midnight and the usual Saturday night crowds were starting to dissapear. Mostly teenagers, the occasional older couple, out relaxing on a Saturday night in June. Syd watched them over her shoulder, subconciously looking for either Vaughn or a tail, whichever she spotted first. She had been careful though, and she was nearly certain that she hadn't been followed. That was imperative for this, that much she knew, that their conversation be kept far far away from SD-6 for the time being.  
She recognized his footsteps as he approached the pier and stood a few feet away from her, far enough so they looked as if they weren't speaking to anyone who might be watching. They stood in silence for a few minutes, she felt him sneak a concerned glance at her. Sydney continued to study the water and listen to the sounds of the oblivious citizens who floated around them . . . citizens who were able to go on and make something of their personal, private lives without worrying about how it could possibly affect national security.  
"I was starting to get worried about you." Vaughn finally spoke in a gentle yet stern voice, conveying to her just how sincerely concerned he was.  
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time . . with the party and all." she explained, shrugging as she saw him nod out of the corner of her eye.  
"How was the party?"  
"Beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the wedding. I swear, with Charlie Francie . . she just sparkles." she finished, smiling at the thought.  
"They sound like wonderful people." he said softly. She knew he wished he could of been at the party with her . . and probably even with her at Francie's wedding a year ago . . . she wished he could of been too. She knew Francie and Charlie would like him, and Will would eventually get over his fantasies of her and like him too. Then again, Sydney couldn't imagine someone not liking the company of Michael Vaughn. "Are you okay?" he asked as her face noticably paled.  
"No." she said, taking a deep breathe. "I don't . . I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to tell you." she said softly. It broke her heart to know that this wasn't going to be the blessing that it would be for most people . . . . and in all sincerity, after all she had put her body through over the past decade, it was in many ways a miracle for her. . .   
"Whenever we meet out here, it's usually not good news." he reminded her in a gruff mummble, the wind ruffling his hair as she looked over to briefly study his profile. He looked tense and worried as he studied the water. The crowds passed around them oblivious, and she wondered not for the first time if he wished the two of them could be just two unknown people in a crowd. "Syd, I really don't want to have to guess-" he started.  
"I'm pregnant." she said softly, cutting him off. Sydney couldn't even bring herself to look at him, but she could feel his eyes upon her as she studied the lights across the pier. "I don't know what I expect you to say . . or do." she whispered a few minutes later, needing to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them. Silences in Vaughn's company had always been something she enjoyed . . it was usually a companionable, safe silence, but that was not that case on that night.  
"Who else knows?" he asked finally.  
"No one." she confessed. "I had . . I had to tell you first. I guess telling you . . telling you makes it real. I just . . I don't know who to tell . . who not to tell. I mean, I can't tell my Father or Sloane-"  
"You have to." he cut her off as she dared to lock eyes with him. His green eyes were firm and showed no signs of giving in. "You *have* to Sydney, this is a child we're talking about-"  
"I know what we're talking about!" she hissed. "What am I supposed to do? retire from the CIA and tell Sloane I need out of SD-6-"  
"If that's what it takes, yes." Vaughn stated, nodded. To him there was no questions involved, there was no way he was going to willingly let her expose the unborn child to even the slightest risk . . he shuddered to think of what the unborn might of been exposed to before Sydney realized she was pregnant.  
"For what? So I can say I've spent the last two and a half years of my life doing nothing? working to take down the people I despise just to quit? What about Danny's death? how can I let that be in vain?" she asked him in an angry hiss. She knew she had crossed a line as his eyes shut at the mention of her late fiance. Vaughn turned his gaze out onto the water, wondering just how cold it would be if he dived in right then and there. "I'm sorry . . . I just don't know if I can walk away."  
"Then you don't walk away, but you stop going on these damned missions. You average a few a month, that's not healthy for you or the baby." he reminded her, still not able to look at her. Vaughn knew how much Sydney had loved Danny - and her slip of the tongue had just been a bitter reminder straight into his heart. A reminder of what he could never be to her, no matter how long he'd know her . . no matter what became of them in the future . . no matter how wonderful of a life they might have together . . he couldn't compete with Danny. He couldn't compete with Sydney's nearly perfect memories of the deceased doctor. "Do you want this?"  
"Yes . . no . . I don't know." she admited, trying not to cry as she ran her fingers through her hair and let out a heavy sigh. "I never thought I could . . I was so sure I couldn't that I never even . . " she trailed off.   
They stood there in silence, neither sure what to say. Sydney hadn't meant to hurt him with her reference to Danny, it just slipped. Vaughn, on the other hand, was still reeling from her news and trying to determine how to keep her safe. This was something neither had expected or planned for . . during his years as Sydney's handler, Vaughn had invented several very intricate and intelligent ways to keep Sydney safe and out of harm . . but this was one situation he had never dreamed of.  
"Vaughn . . I'm so so sorry. . " she whispered, looking over at him with tearful eyes. Vaughn again wished they had met in the warehouse, because it broke his heart to see her there, so obviously in pain, and to not be able to take her into his arms.   
"Don't be sorry Sydney." he reassured her quietly, meaning it. "This isn't your fault . . it's no one's fault . . and I'm not mad." he finished softly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue, handing it to her with an awkward look on his face.   
"Thank you." she said, taking his tissue and wiping her eyes. She ws more emotional then she usually was, and she hated it. "I just . . I wanted to tell you first . . and even . . even if things aren't the way they are . . I have no one else to talk to." she said, the tears continuing their trek down her pale face as she tried in vain to stop them.   
"That's what I'm here for," Vaughn whispered to her softly, daring to make brief eye contact, trying to convey his feelings to her as she nodded. "I'll schedule a meeting with Devlin . . and you . . you need to talk to Sloane."  
"No, no I can't-" she started, panic rising in her throat. Sydney never remembered her fear rising as fast as it was at that moment.   
"Syd, you *have* to." he said, leaning over to grab her and and look her in the eyes. For a brief moment it mattered very little to him who saw them, all that mattered was that Sydney understand the importance of the situation. "Promise me, it is *so* important. They can't and won't do anything to you. Your Father won't let that happen, and anyway Sloane-"  
"Thinks of me like a daughter, I know." she finished for him, letting out a disgusted snort as he gave her a small smile.   
"You have to tell them though, be honest."  
"Completely honest?" she asked playfully with a raised eyebrow as he let out a small chuckle.  
"You know what I mean." Vaughn said as she nodded and her expression turned serious.  
"What do I tell my friends?"  
"Whatever you want. I know you must want to tell Francie and Charlie . . and Will and Amy." he finished as she nodded.   
"They're going to ask . . ask who the Father is." Sydney said softly as Vaughn released her hand and looked out at the water. "What . . what do I say?"  
"Whatever you want to say." he said softly, not able to look at her.   
Michael Vaughn wasn't a dumb man, he knew when everything started to happen that this was never going to completely be the life he wanted . . . he had grown up seeing how much his Father and Mother loved eachother, how devoted they were to eachother, and in awe of how strong his Mother was for picking up the pieces without his Father. Vaughn had also had a wonderful relationship with his Father, and continued to have one with his Mother. . . . his was close to his family, including his older sister, and he remembered the joy in his brother in law's face when his sister and brother in law announced that they'd be having a family. Vaughn's eyes shut tightly, knowing he'd never be able to tell his family his good news . . or see what sort of reaction Jack Bristow would have to the news . . . it didn't seem fair to him, to them, or to the unborn life growing inside of Sydney, but he also knew there was very little he could do to change it.  
"I don't want to do this alone." she said softly. He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, her expression broke her heart.   
"I don't want you to do this alone either . . but I don't know any other way right now." he whispered. "This isn't . . this isn't how I planned this Syd." he whispered quietly, trying to apologize for a crime he hadn't even commited. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't be there for her, holding her hand through all of this, and he knew that she knew that. However that didn't make him feel any better.  
"I'm so . . I'm so scared." Sydney admitted, feeling like a lost child as she held the tissue tightly against her face. "How can I have a child when I know how horrible a world this is? when I know how horrible . . " she said, the tears cutting her off as she let herself cry briefly before working to compose herself. "How do I have this child and explain to it one day that his or her grandmother killed his or her grandfather?" she asked him in a childlike voice, desperately seeking an answer.  
"I don't know Syd . . I don't know." he said softly. Sydney reached out and took his hand, needing to be connected to him for some brief moment. "But .. when the time comes, we'll figure it out." he promised her as she looked at him, needing him to confirm the tiniest of hopes she had in her heart. "We'll figure it out together." he restated. "Maybe we can even take the baby to a Kings game one day." he teased in a low voice as she laughed.  
Vaughn's heart lifted, no matter how brief, he was pleased he had made her smile. She was probably his best friend, and he knew that she was hers. So much between them was still unspoken, so much relied simply on looks and brief touches, and yet neither one felt as if they lacked anything. He knew he wanted more of her in his life, he was greedy about that, but would take what he could get. He knew he took what he could get because when he was with her, she fufilled everything and anything he could ever want.  
"You need to go home." he said softly as Sydney let go of his hand and nodded. "Just go home . . rest. Monday I'll arrange a meeting with Devlin and . . and I really think you need to tell Sloane."  
"Okay." she said softly, nodded. "You'll-"   
"Yes." he said, cutting her off before she could even say the words. Vaughn knew his agent well enough to know what she was going to ask - he'd call her via Joey's Pizza if he needed anything urgent and if it was personal . . well, he always found away to talk to her about that too. "Take care of yourself." he whispered, wanting to say so much more then that. Sydney nodded and walked away from the pier, heading towards her car. 


	3. Sunday night at 9 o'clock

Authors Note: Again, feedback fills my soul. This is dedicated to all the people who have reviewed the story  
thus far (totally cool thing happened - an author whose stories I LOVE reviewed this story, how neat?! :))  
UConn lost tonight :( (hey, it's my story, read my musings before you get to the good stuff, okay?!) so I'm  
bummed . .but I got to see Mike :) ahh, totally cute . . anyway. Tell me what you think, as always. Not completely  
sure how I'm going to go about Monday morning - I think the next chapter will probably be her telling  
Sloane. I have a really really good idea (okay, it was part suggestion . . ) for about two chapters from now.  
Shutting up now . . enjoy the story. Oh, and the Chapters Title is kind of a joke (even if only I get it) - you  
know, the show airs on Sunday nights at 9 on the East & West Coasts :)   
  
  
Sunday night. Sydney sat in her living room with Francie, Charlie, Will and Amy. The siblings were bickering over the value of Will's Scrabble word. It was a relaxing evening, and even though she certainly enjoyed the company of her friends part of her wished that Vaughn was there . . . that she could share the simple things in her life with him, and that he could share the simple things in his life with her. She trusted so much in one person, the scope of her honest rose and set on him, and yet she knew so very little about him. All the professional information she knew, sure, but aside from that, so much was still a mystery.  
"You know, it's watching these two that make me only want to have one child." Francie said to Sydney with an amused grin. Sydney could do little else but smile back at her, not entirely sure how to take Francie's remark. It had been nearly a day since she had told Vaughn, and he hadn't contacted her for professional or personal reasons - not that she had expected him to, but part of her was still dissapointed. "Are you okay Syd?"   
"I'm fine." she insisted, smiling at Francie. By then Amy and Will had finished their arguing and Charlie was working on forming a word. She watched her friend and smiled, yet a thought still nagged at her. She was worried about telling her boss . . and terrified of telling Devlin, although she knew by silent agreement that no one would be told the child was her handlers . . . but that wasn't the thought had haunted her all day. . .  
How could she be a mother when all she ever knew about her own Mother was a lie? Would she lie to her own child the way her parents had to her? Would her child ever know it's Father? Would her child ever be able to be as proud and in awe of his or her Father, just as she knew Vaughn had grown up admiring the late William Vaughn.   
"Syd? Syd you okay?" Will asked concerned, waving a hand in front of her face as Sydney shook her head and saw Francie, Charlie, Amy and Will all looking at her in great concern.  
"Excuse me." she said, standing and rushing to the bathroom.  
"See Will, I told you that new cologne was horrible." Amy teased as Will gave her a look that could kill.   
"Is she okay?" Will asked Francie, who just shrugged and walked to the bathroom. She stood outside the bathroom door, hearing Sydney get sick followed by the sound of the water running.  
"Are you okay in there Syd?" Francie called, concerned. Her friend hadn't been acting right for a few days and she was beginning to become seriously concerned. Maybe Wills right, Francie mused, and Sydney should just quit the bank.  
"I'm okay." she called through the door, splashing cool water on her face. Tommorow morning she was going to have to tell Sloane . . . and of course Dixon, although she was hoping to find some support in her partner. This was, afterall, a miracle. Dixon had a daughter, she hoped he would understand and appreciate that.  
"Do you need anything?" Francie continued, still not comfortable with leaving Sydney alone.  
"I'm fine, really." she insisted, opening the door and smiling at her friend. It was a lie that passed nearly effortlessly off of her tongue. The last thing she was at that very moment was fine. It was absurd, she told herself silently as she joined her friends in the living room. The thought of life-threatening missions, betraying not only very dangerous people but a very dangerous group didn't scare her at all, but the thought of having a child was completely numbing.  
Sydney lost to Will at Scrabble - a rare occurence that only made Francie even more concerned. Sydney's mind kept wandering, wondering why she was the one who kept getting hurt because she was doing the right thing. It seemed to her that even her own Mother, who as much as she hated to think about it was simply a horrible person, had had it easier then she did.  
"Syd, are you sure your alright?" Francie asked one more time as Sydney walked her guests out.   
"I will be." she reassured her friend, hugging Francie. "Promise."  
"Okay. If you need anything, just call, okay?" she said as Sydney nodded. "I'll call you tommorow?"  
"Sure." Sydney agreed, smiling and waving at everyone one more time before walking back into the house. "I really need to get a cat." she said to herself as she picked up the Scrabble board and realized how quiet it was.   
Sometime later Sydney sat in her bedroom, watching TV with her hands resting protectively on her stomach. Her own thoughts were such a jumble that she had no idea which emotion to consider first. How could she risk the life of her unborn miracle? Vaughn had been right there, as much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't jeopardize this. Maybe a family had never been something she'd given much thought to, but now that she had a chance at it, no matter how bleak it looked, she wasn't sure she could let it go.  
How could she have a child though, another part of her questioned, when she knew first hand the ugliness in the world. For heaven sakes, this baby's maternal grandmother killed it's paternal grandfather - how could she possibly explain that to a child one day? Sydney wondered if she could one day look into her child's eyes - briefly wondering if the baby would have Vaughn's beautiful green eyes - and lie to it? Sew a yarn about what she did for a living . . lead her child to believe that it's Grandfather sold airplane parts . . . would her child be led to believe it's Father had abandoned them? She vigorously shook her head at the thought, she wouldn't let that happen, and she knew Vaughn would never let that happen either.  
The unborn child represented everything that she was never supposed to want . . and certainly never supposed to have. Sydney didn't know if she could walk away from SD-6 - she got such a rush from taking down SD-6, from the excitement of knowing she was working for the good guys. In an odd way, the absolute terror of her job excited her. Danny . . she had loved him, and she knew her references to him hurt Vaughn dearly. At the same time she wasn't sure she could just walk away from her quest, it had become one of her lifes passions to take down the horrible people who had ruined her life. However she didn't want to just give up any chances she might have at a normal life.  
A normal life with Vaughn . . . Danny was gone, and despite the guilt she still carried around, she had grieved enough to know that it was okay to want to love someone again . . to see a lifetime with someone other then Danny. She had spent countless afternoons at Danny's graveside, talking to him inside of her head, hoping somehow he'd hear her. Danny had loved her though, as Francie had quietly reminded her so many times, and would only want her happiness.  
Sydney also knew that she didn't have it in her to willingly hurt her baby. . . her baby with a man that she loved. She had never told him that, she realized with a shake of her head. He had never told her either, but she never once questioned his feelings, and she knew he didn't question hers. Their jobs however left little time to speak or act upon any emotions they had, and instead their personal relationship was brief, passionate and wonderful. It was also a burden - they both knew they risked their lives when they met for work. Bringing in any sort of personal relationship only served to complicate things, but even with that in mind she didn't regret it.  
I'm going to go through with this, she vowed silently to the tiny life living inside of her. Sydney was going to do the right thing - she had absolutely no idea what that was, but she knew it involved telling Sloane and Devlin very soon . . and dealing with what she was sure would be negative reprocussions for her actions. She was going to do the right thing for her child, she had no real choice, despite her intense desire to bring down SD-6, the love for her unborn child already ran deeper then she imagined.   
Some people would be happy for her . . Vaughn was happy, at least as happy as she could of expected. Sydney wondered if their child would ever get to meet Vaughn's Mother or sister - two women he continued to be close to and love even at that point in his life. Francie and Charlie would support her, and she knew Will would as well although he'd be full of questions. It was going to be alright . . at least that's what she convinced herself before she rolled over and went to sleep. 


	4. Monday (attempt #2)

Title: This Just In  
Author: UConnFan   
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com 


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